BEDSITTER CHRONICLES

Aki si hii nyumba yako ni ndogo alafu ni simple vizuri.’Says Awino  as she sits on the bed. The beds makes some unique sounds maybe complaining about the large size of her behind-the type of behind that Biko once said would turn a whole church into a choir. I feel some displeasure in her words because she thought this dude must be staying in a big house due to his…

She asks why I had put her sandals inside and left mine outside and I tell her I’m just trying to be a gentleman but that was intended to prevent the muchene by those women, I guess you know them. Those that will always talk about   seeing you with a woman but will never see the thief that once got away with new khaki Collo had bought.

Being an aluminum apartment, I intend to run through the lengthy agenda of our meeting lest the joto of  Kisumu spoil the moment. Now the best thing about bedsitters is that you can do all the chores while sitting at one position and at the same time  pretend to be listening to the talkative Awino and her boring tales  that you only need to come in when  responses such as ‘eh’ ‘donge‘ ‘nyasadi‘ and ‘ooh’ are needed.

A KOT once said that  the heat from a stove could turn a bedsitter into a sauna, I concur. The condition was unfavorable for her that she kept on fanning her self with the King James Bible.

Aki hii joto…”she repeatedly complained. At that moment I asked my self when I turn off the stove how will she react to the smoke?.Shauri yake.

Chwarni makae tindo tindo”(The bed bugs here are very small)she said with a low tone.I was not astonished because I understood where my guest came from, therefore there was no need of pre-cleaning the house like applying the insecticides.

When I am not around or maybe sleeping,some kids with their mischievousness often come to  susu on  the walls of my apartment and you know how the nyumba za mabati with its many tiny holes.

Chrrrrrrrrr!  was the sound that came from the back from where I was sitting. The good thing was that Awino didn’t get it as all along her concentration was on hali  halisi by daktari Jalas on Radio Maisha.I  coughed twice  to stop the velocity of the urine  that had made a thin lie across the floor. The kid had ran away.

We enjoyed our tea while listening to the radio but from where I was sitting Awino enjoyed it most. I was sitting right in front of her in ka chair that was preferred to short term visitors-akina Bangu who would often come and only the thing they could tell you is nilikuja tu kukugotea kiasi. When you sat on these sit, It made you look like you were sitting in a congested tuktuk and the funny thing was that you may fall in the next seconds.

All of a sudden as I was about to move to the next agenda, the landlord knocked.

“Today is Monday” that was his reply after greeting him. I convince him that he will get the rent by evening which will be as a result of selling the 6kg Hashi gas which has not been refilled since its first use.

Omera when I come by evening and you fail to give me the cash….okbichaloni’’he said. Oya! My fellow tribesmen how do you translate   okbichaloni from Dholuo  to English-it will not look for you?

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